Weeking Writing Warriors (4)
This is the fourth time I’ll be participating in the Weekend Writing Warriors meme. This time I’m hosting an excerpt from Andante (Allegro Academy #2), a YA Paranormal Mystery novel. Enjoy!
I open up the cover, and at the same time the candle blows out. The darkness around me is thick and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up straight. Footsteps resonate through the darkness, approaching me.
Blind panic takes hold of me. Clutching the book to my chest, I move backward, pinching my eyes to see anything – anything. A loud sound from behind me startles me. The door has slummed shut, blocking out the last rays of light, locking me inside the attic.
I hope you enjoyed the excerpt! Feel free to link to your excerpt in the comments below – I’d love to read them!
13 thoughts on “Weeking Writing Warriors (4)”
Yeeeow! Scary. You really set the mood well. 🙂 Good post 🙂
Thanks, Teresa. Scary is what I was going for. 🙂
Love this part, “…blocking out the last rays of light, locking me inside the attic.” It makes me curious to find out whats happening next.
“The darkness around me is thick and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up straight.” Feels a bit generic. I think you can do better. Not sure if you’re meaning to be generic, but I think you can definitely reword it to your benefit. 😉
Thanks so much for the suggestion. This is a first draft, which means I just spur out words (generic or not) to get the whole story down before I go back and try to bring the writing up to the next level. However it’s always difficult to point out what’s generic and what isn’t, so thank you for the great feedback. =)
Fraught with suspense. Wonder what happens next? I would change “A loud sound from behind ME startles me” to “A loud sound from behind startles me.” Reads smoother. Looking forward to the next instalment. Scary!
Thanks, Debbie! This is a first draft, so it’s probably not that smooth to read yet. Your suggestion is spot on though, so thanks!
I agree with Oto yet this is a good eight. To be locked in an attic is terrifying.
Yes, it is terrifying. I hate attics, and I wonder why I let my MC’s go through all this. 🙂
You quickly create a mood here and it’s palpable. Good job.
This is fabulous. You draw me right into the story so I experience it with your character. Awesome job!
Uh oh, the ending really gave me goosebumps, at the idea of being locked in the attic! Excellent excerpt!
Oh wow, this was intense. Good job!
I like the way you set the mood.